the receipts (?)
Image: AP

Two Connecticut towns are apparently in a long-running feud about which is older—Windsor, or Wethersfield—and now archaeologists have uncovered juuuust enough evidence to get everybody worked up without totally resolving the question.

The Associated Press unwraps the beef:

Experts have unearthed artifacts they believe date to the 1630s in Wethersfield, where town signs declare it the state’s “most ancient,” founded in 1634. But a few miles up the Connecticut River to the north, Windsor boasts it is the state’s “first town,” settled in 1633.

The long-running dispute on which was the first English settlement in Connecticut centers on how you define “town.” Settlers from Plymouth, Massachusetts, established a trading post in Windsor in 1633. Advocates for Wethersfield say settlers from Watertown, Massachusetts, made Wethersfield their home in 1634 and claim Windsor didn’t become a town until 1635, when people there built homes.

New finds include “a fence believed to be from the 17th century and built for defense against Native American tribes,” and numerous other odds and ends.

Yeah, well, Windsor doesn’t give a shit what they found over in Wethersfield.

“It doesn’t change our opinion,” Christine Ermenc, executive director of the Windsor Historical Society, told the Associated Press. “We maintain that Windsor really is the earliest European settlement. They helped the Native Americans. They helped some of the traders going to Wethersfield.” More like WHATEVERSfield!

Advertisement

“I don’t think it ever will be settled,” said state archaeologist Brian Jones, who personally I like to picture giving this quote from a darkened office, possibly under his desk, hiding out from representatives of two historical societies pounding on his door. It’s a holiday weekend, who’s got the time?