Last week, we featured a 1985 advertisement for “Silk Reflections” pantyhose. It was ridiculous. But it turns out that glamorous wackiness was just par for the course for how they advertised pantyhose in the late 1970s and 1980s.

Hanes was hawking those “Silk Reflections” hose pretty hard.

Even No Nonsense got in the game, because nothing says practical glamour like a restaurant with trellises.

Though for real modern style, you need lasers.

Let’s take our L’Eggs on a cruise!

Or we could go on a visibly more expensive cruise, with Hanes. Hanes: For the woman still wearing a mink stole and a pillbox hat, i.e., the Dynasty cosplayer.

Be the lady in blue, or rather sort of a peacock teal.

But it was all a vast improvement from one earlier commercial, which you’ll find about a minute into this episode of Hollywood Palace.

“Not every woman can be a beauty, but here are some tips on how she can make the most of what she’s got.” Thanks, guys!


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