I would not relocate to the nineteenth century for love or money. However, they were very good at one thing, and that’s greeting cards. Good God the Victorians loved wacky greeting cards, especially at Christmas.

Nothing says “tidings of great joy” like dog slobber.

I SENT A BIRD TO YOUR HOUSE TO YELL MERRY CHRISTMAS SO MERRY CHRISTMAS I GUESS

Speaking of birds, circa 1870, “The Robin family take a stroll on a wintry Christmas morning.”

Apparently birds were a Christmas card theme in Victorian Britain. Maybe it’s because of the Gulf Stream? (The words “Gulf Stream” are literally the only thing I know about the climate of the United Kingdom.)

Dogs are also a recurring theme.

This bitch is definitely gonna poison these two trespassers.

Not sure about you but rolling a man trapped in a giant snowball through the woods is NOT my idea of “innocent mirth.”

That mouse is holding a card that says “Peace, Joy, Health and Happiness.” He is riding a lobster. Seasons greetings, and fuck if I know!


Contact the author at kelly@jezebel.com.

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