Anybody got the tech to fold the space-time continuum? If so, would you be willing it loan it out, so that I might order some “sassy sweats” from the makers of the diet soda Tab, circa 1986?

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Depending on your devotion to Tab, you could have a pink t-shirt, pink sweatpants, or a pink sweatshirt—or all three, if you had the proofs of purchase. (There was also a white sweatshirt available but that’s boring.) Sweatsuits and Tab—two great tastes of the 1980s, combined at last!

You can still order Tab, once America’s preeminent diet soda, at various online retailers. Why you’d want to is another question entirely.


Contact the author at kelly@jezebel.com.