Welcome to Midcentury Madness, where we hop in the car with Ryan O’Neal after he invites us out, drive from party to party meeting every hip young famous person in Hollywood, listen to him complain about his former wives and daughter Tatum while barreling around curves in Laurel Canyon, scream, “RYAN SLOW DOWN,” and say a silent prayer when we think the end is near, then suddenly come to a screeching halt in front of Peggy Lipton’s house where he tells us to scram and we have to walk all the way back home.

Today, Ryan O’Neal has been going on secret dates with Peggy Lipton, Tom Jones is a healer, Paul Newman learned something amazing about women, and Raymond Burr is, like, two degrees away from some cannibals!


OK, I’m sorry, but what the hell is going on with Ryan O’Neal? I thought he and Barbra Streisand were meant for each other, but now he’s been seen around town with that Mod Squad star Peggy Lipton! Sources say “Barbra really digs Ryan,” so why is he playing her like that? “Little is known” about O’Neal’s meetups with Lipton, but given the fact that her alleged boyfriend, Lou Adler, has been seen out and about with Candice Bergen, it sort of seems like they’re both either cheating...or on the rebound after secret splits. Movieland makes a strong case for their relationship:

  • “There is something very appealing to many men about a girl who is recovering from a love that seems to be over.”
  • “Another reason that Peggy Lipton must appeal to Ryan is that she has stated many times that she is not ready for marriage.”
  • “She loves beach life too and is in with the crowd Ryan knows and digs.”

I just hope Babs makes it out OK.

Question: Is Tom Jones a healer?

Answer: Yes.

Movieland sent a photographer to one of Tom’s recent shows and noticed something: he can heal the sick. The photographer met a wheelchair-bound fan named Roslyn Feigenbaum who claims it’s not unusual for her to feel healed after watching Jones sing and sweat.

“She likes to be right up front close to him and definitely feels better and stronger when she is there, as are others who suffer serious ailments.”

The story continues:

“It is too easy to dismiss the more emotional young girls as uncontrolled and say they are acting silly.”

Wouldn’t you freak out if all your illnesses were suddenly cured after staring at that crucifix nestled in Tom’s luxurious chest hair? Of course you would.

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Next up is a 1000-word story on how Paul Newman finally understood the importance of equal rights for women after reading “The Female Eunuch” by Germaine Greer. But I don’t want to recap all that. I just want to share its opening sentences because, hot damn!

The familiar voice counted off 98, 99, 100! His deeply tanned body glistened with the sweat of 100 sit-ups, His stomach flat and rippling with muscle, his superbly proportioned body relaxed at the end of his morning ritual of fifteen minutes of hard calisthenics. His face, with its unbelievably blue eyes, high nordic cheek bones and looks of intelligence, almost defied time. Only his greying hair reveals the inroads of time. Paul Newman, with the body of a young athlete and the face that has for almost two decades dominated women’s fantasies, quickly slips on his navy blue terry cloth robe, looking like a fighter in an early film of his, and begins his day.

Excuse me while I go jump in an ice bath real quick.

I’m back, so let’s move on. After acting for what feels like hundreds of years, the incomparable Raymond Burr is getting ready to retire. But don’t expect him to move to a retirement community in Palm Springs and woo all those retired single ladies! No, Mr. Burr has bigger plans. “A few years ago, [he] purchased an island called Naitauba in Fiji.” It’s a 48-hour journey (by air, land, and sea) from Los Angeles—which still isn’t far enough away from Los Angeles for my taste—and many of the locals don’t even know how famous he is on the other side of the world! No, they have better things on their minds...LIKE EATING HUMAN FLESH. Burr “must have shook when he read that the friendly natives he likes so much on the island he had just bought were cannibals! When he researched them some more he learned, much to his relief, that the last missionary they devoured met his demise around the turn of the century. Happily, there was no record of them ever eating an actor.”


Super Sexy Relationship Briefs:

  • David Cassidy may or may not be secretly married!
  • Bill Bixby is actually married!
  • Nicole Travis and Adam Drake might get married soon!
  • Sean Connery is divorcing Diane Cilento!
  • Donna Reed divorced Anthony Owen!
  • Elliot Gould divorced Barbra Streisand!
  • Glenn Ford is “Hollywood’s biggest sneak”!
  • A tennis player named Desi is moving on after breaking up with Patty Duke!
  • Sandy Duncan partied with her husband, Bruce Scott!

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Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.