As a sort of advent calendar of kitsch, Pictorial will be counting down the final twelve days before Christmas by featuring some holiday presents of days gone by.

Women’s Day helpfully provided this advertorial supplement for readers of its December 1990 issue. From the safe distance of 25 years later, it’s a treasure trove of dated appliances and ill-advised gifts.

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Here’s a tough call. Once you’ve assessed these two products via a complicated algorithm accounting for more useful but less exciting, which do you purchase as a present—a brand new microwave, or “home electrosonic jewelry cleaner”?

“Perfect gifts” seems very optimistic, here.

Not sure about you but “sentient coffee maker” is very much absent from my Christmas list.

This lighted beauty mirror feels more like the right blend of lux and practicality.

But it’s probably safest to go with one of these wallets.


Contact the author at kelly@jezebel.com.